It was my cousin’s wedding last Saturday –a happy blessed day for him and his bride. They do look perfect together, really. I know little about what they had gone through but they seem to be perfectly inlove at the moment. And for someone who wishes them all the best as a couple, their apparent overflowing love gives the hint that they’ll make it through the good and the bad times.

The bride used to be my classmate in elementary. She made a beautiful bride which wasn’t surprising anymore since she was a natural beauty. I didn’t see her for years and all I know was that she was a pretty girl when we were still kids. We never really get to be friends then just acquaintances, perhaps.

I found my name on their list of the bridesmaid and ushers. I was assigned with the candlelighting –a task I would have chosen last if I was allowed to. It was my first time and yes, I was kind of excited in a way. I want to try it more for the sake of experience, I guess. Yet, the experience has left me a bad impression somewhere.

There is really little preparation you can do for this kind of events if none at all. For one, how could I possibly even out my skin tone for just a week –a ruthless effect of my swimming the weekend before the wedding proper?  Wearing a plain yellow gown I looked like wearing a pair of long gloves which perfectly fit my arms. Consolingly, I did look like I just had swimming which was way better than having them think it was a natural thing on me.

My cousin and make-up artist was superb, anyway. She gave me a beautiful sophisticated look with my hair in a bun at the back. My eyes look rounder and bigger and it was alright. I did like it. It was a light-touch of make up in comparison to the amount of cosmetics gay men on parlorshops apply on your face. She only has two clients –me and pretty Via, my niece who was one of the flower girls.

Yet, how time flies. It was 5 o’clock and the others have gone to the church for the 5:30 ceremony. We weren’t finish dressing up and we needed a little more time to finally finish. It was Via’s turn so while she was having her make-up on I was struggling to get my dress on too. Somemone from the church has already called to ask for us since the march was going to start any minute and we were still in the house 15 minutes away from the church.

Via’s father who was more excited than we were for her daughter, wasn’t smiling anymore. He kept asking if we weren’t done yet and why, for heaven’s sake, did we end up late for the occasion. Then finally, we headed our way to church on a very fast pace. On our way, we pass by a car that has just gone from the church and the driver told us that the ceremony had already started. It gave me a terrible feeling, really. Not for me but for Via who wouldn’t be able to walk the aisle. I believe she deserves it since it was kind of an effort on her part to dress up for the occasion. It was more because of his father’s insistence that she agreed to be a flower girl.

I wasn’t the bride but I was nervous. I was beginningto feel sad and regretful. We sure look pretty but how would we outshine everybody else if we couldn’t walk the aisle. It was awful. We drove fast and the beating of my heart was in an equal race.

We reached the church but the loud pounding of my heart hasn’t stopped. The wedding has started. We hurriedly ran inside. Surely, the other bridesmaids and groomsmen were all sitting in front by then. But five of the last flowergirls were still at the end of the aisle ready to march down and Via manage to be part of it all.

There was no one left anymore except the bride who was still in the car and me who was standing at the back not sure of what I was going to do. But I definitely had no plans of just sneaking in front and sit quietly with the other bridesmaids. I had to have my share of the moment and surely I got it. The opportunity gave me a good reason to flash a beautiful smile which either indicated confidence or sort of an apology for being late. I saw the others smiling at me so I’ve got to smile back, a wonderful opportunity to flash my beautiful white teeth. Perfect. I could say then that I wasn’t really late, just right in time for a perfect moment.

But my being pasaway doesn’t end there yet. I made something terrible again. I needed to light the candle twice and it was a bad sign, so they say. I guess no one saw it from their seats since I was behind the Ninongs and ninangs who were then called to stand beside the groom and the bride. But it was less of my concern. I was worried more about the bad sign.

After the wedding and the pictorial and all the commotion inside the church people headed off to the reception place. Via and I never really learned our lesson. We were left with our other cousins to wait for one of the cars again to fetch us back since it can’t occupy everyone. So we just had our own mini pictorial inside the church while waiting. When we got to the place, finally, the little program was already over and when our names were called, as the others had narrated to us, we weren’t there to come upstage and for the second time outshine them again. We found no place for us in the presidential table anymore so we have to eat someplace else. I never get to hang out with the other ushers but who were anyway, mostly strangers to me. I had my own world going.

Very me, I guess. If I could avoid having contact with strangers and worse opening up to them then I would with all my might. But I sure got an important role done. I get to do a job supposedly for the maid-of-honor. I was assigned to assist the sabugan portion, a wedding tradition on our place and some place else too. I wrote down the names of people who gave money, counted it and then after gave it to the groom who inturn gave it to his wife. And what a nice job it was –to be part of it all. All of a sudden I was inside the commotion and people were asking me how much this so-and-so gave and how much money was collected all-in-all. Some people even have to ask me more than once.

When my cousin handed the money to his wife I could feel that he was so inlove with the girl –it wasn’t just me I guess. He was obviously inlove. I pray that with God’s love and glory they will be able to sustain their love for each other and still be together for the rest of their lives. I pray for them a happy, fulfilling marriage void of temptation and misunderstandings. May God be with them who have made them one.

On my part, I hope I knew better what marriage means.